I'm not really sure what to write here.
I miss Ashlee so much.
I hurt her.
I didn't mean too.

I'm just doing what I think is best.

I'm trying to save money, so we won't be completely broke when we get married.

Yeah, I'm working on Valentine's Day, but I had planned some surprise stuff to make for that, one of them technically ending Valentine's morning.

That's all been shot to hell.

The sad part is, I didn't even ruin it.
Well, that's not entirely true.
Ashlee killed it, but it's only due to my past lameness that she did.
I hadn't done anything previous to make her believe that I could be romantic, or surprise her, for that matter.

Dang, I suck.

Now I'm just sad, achy and can't seem to fall asleep no matter what.

I don't even get to see her until Friday, because I pissed her off.
I guess it's a good thing I didn't tell work that I wasn't going in today.
Angel said I could just call in, and that would be a-okay.
I'll go in, now, though.

Nobody want to see me.

Even my parents stray away from me.
Patrick tries not to be around me.

I just wish I had somebody to talk to, but I don't.
My only outlet if fucking Blogger.com

It's almost four in the morning, and I don't even have a semblance of tiredness.
All I wanted was to fall asleep on the phone.
I've gotten too used to that.
I need to remember that I really can't really on anybody, for anything.

If I can't get by on my own, then I shouldn't do it.

I'm the only person I can count on.

I'm the only one that knows my thoughts.

But out of every other person, in the entire world, I hate me the most.