I'm really tired right now.
Not in a sleepy way, but in an exhausted way.
My body hurts all over.
My mind has been far too active.
My emotions have been pretty crazy.
It's all stemmed from decisions I made.
Lately I've been noticing hos my decisions effect me and those that I love.
That's just the truth behind life.
Our decisions make us what we are today.
You and I are simply a product of every moment we've lived up until now.
We decide our moments.
I love Ashlee so much.
I cause her so much worry.
I don't mean to.
I just want her to be happy.
More specifically, happy with me.
I'm going to go take a test on Monday for a job as a police dispatcher for the Plano Police Department.
I really need this job.
That's actually part of the reason I keep on typing.
Part of the test is data entry and typing.
I can barely type without looking at the keyboard...
I'm pretty lame for a nerd, I know.
Well, here is another video:
28 January 2009
26 January 2009
25 January 2009
I keep on forgetting
It seems to me that my hair isn't the only thing that's been going away.
I forget things all the time.
That scares me.
I'm not so much scared that I'll forget important days or events.
I'm scared I'll remember to be me.
You really have to work at being yourself.
This really didn't strike me until now.
I purposefully pick and choose my mannerisms.
I decide when to do something weird or normal.
I have control over myself,
when I remember.
Some things that I don't want to forget are my words.
Especially the ones that I really mean.
I don't ever want to forget to tell Ashlee I love her.
Not a day should go by that I don't verbally let Ashlee know that she is beautiful.
I know that she knows that I think both of those things,
but they still need verbal recognition.
I don't want to forget my dreams.
Even if I am giving one or two of them up.
It's only to fulfill others,
and who knows,
maybe one day I can pick them back up again.
Anyway, I really don't remember how I wanted to end this.,
and I'm sleepy.
Goodnight.
I forget things all the time.
That scares me.
I'm not so much scared that I'll forget important days or events.
I'm scared I'll remember to be me.
You really have to work at being yourself.
This really didn't strike me until now.
I purposefully pick and choose my mannerisms.
I decide when to do something weird or normal.
I have control over myself,
when I remember.
Some things that I don't want to forget are my words.
Especially the ones that I really mean.
I don't ever want to forget to tell Ashlee I love her.
Not a day should go by that I don't verbally let Ashlee know that she is beautiful.
I know that she knows that I think both of those things,
but they still need verbal recognition.
I don't want to forget my dreams.
Even if I am giving one or two of them up.
It's only to fulfill others,
and who knows,
maybe one day I can pick them back up again.
Anyway, I really don't remember how I wanted to end this.,
and I'm sleepy.
Goodnight.
23 January 2009
A little bit of DOOM! goes a long way.
Life goes well if you do what you're supposed to.
I'm not saying that you'll win the lottery or be set for life if you just play by the rules.
What I am saying is, that, at the end of the day, you can fall asleep with a clear conscience and a knowledge that you've done your best.
Now, the opposite applies, also.
If you don't play by the rules, you're pretty much broken.
We're all broken.
The trick is knowing that you've put enough of yourself together.
Knowing that your Father in Heaven is disappointed with the choices you've made is hard. I hate that feeling. I want to rid myself of it and never feel it again.
Well, Ashlee is going to try RO.
She really does love me.
I'm not saying that you'll win the lottery or be set for life if you just play by the rules.
What I am saying is, that, at the end of the day, you can fall asleep with a clear conscience and a knowledge that you've done your best.
Now, the opposite applies, also.
If you don't play by the rules, you're pretty much broken.
We're all broken.
The trick is knowing that you've put enough of yourself together.
Knowing that your Father in Heaven is disappointed with the choices you've made is hard. I hate that feeling. I want to rid myself of it and never feel it again.
Well, Ashlee is going to try RO.
She really does love me.
21 January 2009
We, us, his, hers.
We're in Love, and it's growing.
Growing the way our Heavenly Father intended it to.
- Ashlee
Growing the way our Heavenly Father intended it to.
- Ashlee
20 January 2009
Eff!
I just wrote an update and accidentally hit the back button!
Eff!
Anyway, school is in!
The reason for that exclamation point is that I have most of my classes with Ashlee!
Whoa!
That's pretty freaking sweet!
Nothing much of note has occurred as of late.
Big Jeff Green got home on Wedsneday.
We're going to jam at some guy's grandma's house at one today.
YES!
Well, here is a movie that should make you crap your pants laughing:
I just wrote an update and accidentally hit the back button!
Eff!
Anyway, school is in!
The reason for that exclamation point is that I have most of my classes with Ashlee!
Whoa!
That's pretty freaking sweet!
Nothing much of note has occurred as of late.
Big Jeff Green got home on Wedsneday.
We're going to jam at some guy's grandma's house at one today.
YES!
Well, here is a movie that should make you crap your pants laughing:
15 January 2009
Another Day
Well, life has been moving at a steady rate of "what the hell is going on?"
I'm using this a replacement for Xanga.
I've decided Xanga just isn't for me.
Well, I have work in 18 min., and Ashlee just fell asleep on my bed.LoL.
I love her SO much.
I just wish I were better.
She deserves better.
I guess that's what I'll have to be
Anyway, this is for anybody who wants it:
I'm using this a replacement for Xanga.
I've decided Xanga just isn't for me.
Well, I have work in 18 min., and Ashlee just fell asleep on my bed.LoL.
I love her SO much.
I just wish I were better.
She deserves better.
I guess that's what I'll have to be
Anyway, this is for anybody who wants it:
12 January 2009
In the beginning.
The purpose of this blog is to provide me with somewhat of a journal.
I'm not 100% sure on how keen I am about using a blog for this purpose, but I will try, nonetheless.
I didn't get much sleep last night.
Ashlee had a night mare and called me at a bout 3:10am.
So, I've slept about two hours.
I'm really not upset in the least though.
I'm glad Ashlee called me.
I like to be interrupted by her, especially when she is upset.
He dream was of me dying.
Her grandfather and either the History Channel or Discovery got her worried about the Apocalypse conspiracy for 2012.
I don't buy into those at all.
the world isn't going to magically come to and end, nor are we going to erupt into a global nuclear war anytime soon.
People are still too scared of nuclear power plants to have though around, much less actually blowing stuff up.
I just want her to feel comfortable.
I'm not 100% sure on how keen I am about using a blog for this purpose, but I will try, nonetheless.
I didn't get much sleep last night.
Ashlee had a night mare and called me at a bout 3:10am.
So, I've slept about two hours.
I'm really not upset in the least though.
I'm glad Ashlee called me.
I like to be interrupted by her, especially when she is upset.
He dream was of me dying.
Her grandfather and either the History Channel or Discovery got her worried about the Apocalypse conspiracy for 2012.
I don't buy into those at all.
the world isn't going to magically come to and end, nor are we going to erupt into a global nuclear war anytime soon.
People are still too scared of nuclear power plants to have though around, much less actually blowing stuff up.
I just want her to feel comfortable.
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